To Be Happy, Adjust Your Wedding Expectations
"I am very disappointed with my husband. When I first met, I thought he was a romantic man. Apparently there is no romantic side at all. He is a selfish man, "a wife complained in the counseling room.
"I am very disappointed with my wife. I used to hope to have a wife full of tenderness. I did not think he was a very fierce and brave woman to me, "said a husband in the counseling room.
In marriage life, everyone must have hope about the ideal life partner desired, as well as the condition of the family being preached.
These ideal expectations are certainly something that is very reasonable and necessary in order to do the best thing since the wedding process until the time of living the days of married life. With that hope, will make a single man and woman choose the best dating that can be cultivated, and create the best household life that can be sought.
But must be understood household life is not flat. Not always academic, which can be predicted with certain formulas. Living a married life is about understanding, understanding and adjusting the character of self and partner.
We learn continuously to understand, understand and explore the nature, character and psychology of the couple. Then try to adjust and align with our own nature, character and psychology. This process is quite complicated at first, but it will be easy to obtain with sincerity and perseverance.
In order not easy to experience disappointment
The ideal hope can not be achieved simply because both sides of the husband and wife have already pledged to live together in joy and sorrow.
In fact, almost all brides have promised to live together in joy and sorrow, but in reality there are still many couples divorced when their marriage age is still very young.
This indicates that expectations are not always possible, and reality is not always acceptable with a broad attitude.
In order for married life is not easily colored with disappointment, should men and women pay attention to the following things:Measure the Expectation Level
Expectations that are too high is one cause of unhappy marriage. Expect too much from the couple will increase the disappointment anyway.
So let's from the beginning of the bride and groom can measure the expectation of the couple, so as not to overdo it. Do not be afraid to have hope, but should be able to measure the level of hope for the opportunity to obtain greater and more likely.
Marriage must be based on realistic expectations, which can be fulfilled by self and partner. With measurable expectations, it will make it easier to get in daily life.
Remember that you and your spouse are just ordinary people who have many limitations. You live in the real world, not in cyberspace, not in the world of soap operas. So having excessive expectations is denying the reality of human limitations.
If one of the husband and wife expects the ideal beyond the spouse's ability to make it happen, marriage is easily subject to disappointment.
Adjust Hope with Reality
At the time of marriage, please build a beautiful hope. But after marriage, everyone should be willing to adjust his expectations. If ideal expectations of a partner can not be obtained, must be willing to adjust to the existing reality.
If the expectations of home life as the novel novels tell it can not be obtained, it must be willing to adjust to the circumstances.
Some people are under-estimate, have too low expectations of the couple. When in marriage life was experiencing extraordinary things, must be able to adjust themselves that the couple turned out to be a special. Much bigger than imagined before. For like this, must be willing to adjust to the reality faced.
Conversely, for people who already have expectations too high, and it turns out after marriage found a reality that is very far from the ideal, should be able to adjust. Decrease the standard of expectation, and adjust to the reality at hand.
Your partner is not a perfect being, he is just an ordinary human being, just like you. Naturally if he is not ideal, and has a number of shortcomings.
Provide a Compromise Room
If you have too much expectation and do not provide a compromise room, what will appear is an explosion of disappointment. A compromise room should be provided by both parties to ensure the achievement of a balance of expectations and reality.
Intensive dialogue and heart-to-heart conversations routinely orchestrated by husbands and wives become the way to form the compromise room.
Both sides expressed their wishes, conveyed each other's wishes, and both sides tried to meet the couple's expectations as best they could.
In principle, after marriage both parties should strive to become someone like the couple's expectations. No longer being yourself. This is the consequence of marriage, which distinguishes it from life during singles.
This compromise room indicates an improvement effort. Basically everyone can make a change towards a better and more positive direction. This requires a serious effort on both sides to become a better self, a more enjoyable partner, which is more suitable to the couple's expectations.
It does not mean just resigned without any effort to get better. Husbands and wives must be willing to change into situations and conditions that are always better, so they come closer together.
Help Couples to Get BetterIn order for a partner to more easily meet your expectations, help him to be better. Give your partner a chance to change and try to meet your expectations.
Do not just sue and scold the couple for conditions that are not as expected, but provide a comfortable atmosphere for couples to adjust. Similarly, you also need your partner's help to get better.
The husband and wife are like mirrors. One with each other influence and contribute to each other. Then they both have to compact each other to strengthen and help each other to achieve the condition as expected.
Wives need understanding from their husbands, which helps them better. The husband needs the trust of the wife, this will help the husband to be better.
Enjoy Happiness with Couples
Because everyone has flaws and weaknesses and no perfect person, then just enjoy all the conditions at hand. After doing the repair effort, trying to do the best things to adjust to the expectations of the couple, must still find side-drawbacks and weaknesses are very human.
In such a situation, the principle of "accept what it is" is, because efforts to change for the better have been done.
Surely married couples can still get happiness even though their condition is not perfect. Because it does not need to be perfect to be happy.
Happiness belongs and the right of anyone who is good at finding it. We can find that happiness in all the events of our lives, even in situations of deprivation and limitations.
An imperfect husband lives with an imperfect wife, they understand each other and accept what they are, this is where happiness is. A husband who lacks a lot of life with a wife who lacks much, then they can understand and respect each other, here there is happiness. Then enjoy married life with your partner, amid the various weaknesses and imperfections.
Happy celebrating happiness with your imperfect partner.
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